Afriad Of The Dark
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
farting problem
once there was a guy who had a tendency to fart every 5 mintues.he was already in his mid thirties and he'd hope to find the women of his lifehowever due to his farting problem,this resulted in a series of unsuccessful dates.one day his friend told himfriend: hey! i got you a really good friend of mine this time! she is pretty, smart! everything a guy can wish for! you better sort out your problem before you lose her. these kinda girls dnt come around very often.him: but how am i supposed to prevent myself from farting if i have to?!?!friend: hmmm, how bout you put something to block it?him: like?friend: hmmm try a cork.so he took a cork on that day and put it into his ass hole, to prevent the gas from coming out.on that day of the date, everything was going smoothly during the date.the girl had not noticed he had a farting problem, and even he forgot about hi problem.both of them were waiting for their desserts when he said he needed to use the rest room.the guy went to the rest room, and placed his cork at the top of the, right side of the toilet as he was doing his business, a police men walked into the next cubicle, and places his whistle on the next to the mans cork.not noticing there are two odjects at the top of the toilet.the man places the whistle at his hole and goes out to wash his hands, meet the girl, and has dessert.suddenly, the man lets out gas.and the whistle at his arse goes: PWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!the policemen, immediately responses and runs outhe take out his whistle [ the cork]and puts it at his lips.
once there was a guy who had a tendency to fart every 5 mintues.he was already in his mid thirties and he'd hope to find the women of his lifehowever due to his farting problem,this resulted in a series of unsuccessful dates.one day his friend told himfriend: hey! i got you a really good friend of mine this time! she is pretty, smart! everything a guy can wish for! you better sort out your problem before you lose her. these kinda girls dnt come around very often.him: but how am i supposed to prevent myself from farting if i have to?!?!friend: hmmm, how bout you put something to block it?him: like?friend: hmmm try a cork.so he took a cork on that day and put it into his ass hole, to prevent the gas from coming out.on that day of the date, everything was going smoothly during the date.the girl had not noticed he had a farting problem, and even he forgot about hi problem.both of them were waiting for their desserts when he said he needed to use the rest room.the guy went to the rest room, and placed his cork at the top of the, right side of the toilet as he was doing his business, a police men walked into the next cubicle, and places his whistle on the next to the mans cork.not noticing there are two odjects at the top of the toilet.the man places the whistle at his hole and goes out to wash his hands, meet the girl, and has dessert.suddenly, the man lets out gas.and the whistle at his arse goes: PWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!the policemen, immediately responses and runs outhe take out his whistle [ the cork]and puts it at his lips.
Brown Balls
The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're truly remarkable!". The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?" "Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....." "No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?" "Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!" The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day. "What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!" "Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."
The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're truly remarkable!". The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?" "Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....." "No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?" "Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!" The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day. "What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!" "Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."
Sexual obsession
A man goes to a psychiatrist, and tells him "Doc, I think I have an obsession with sex."The doctor agrees to examine him and begins by showing him various drawings.First the doctor draws a square and asks the man to identify it. The man immediately says "sex".Next the doctor draws a circle, which the man again identifies as sex.Thirdly, the doctor draws a triangle, which of course the patient identifies as "sex". The doctor puts the drawings away and says to the patient, "Yes, I do believe thhat you have an obsession with sex." To which the man replies, "I'm not the one with the obsession! YOU'RE the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"
A man goes to a psychiatrist, and tells him "Doc, I think I have an obsession with sex."The doctor agrees to examine him and begins by showing him various drawings.First the doctor draws a square and asks the man to identify it. The man immediately says "sex".Next the doctor draws a circle, which the man again identifies as sex.Thirdly, the doctor draws a triangle, which of course the patient identifies as "sex". The doctor puts the drawings away and says to the patient, "Yes, I do believe thhat you have an obsession with sex." To which the man replies, "I'm not the one with the obsession! YOU'RE the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"
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